Stop Arguing

You are screaming again. At this point you have said some hurtful things, and down the rabbit hole of name calling. You storm away. You replay the conversation, well argument again in your head. You think of all the comebacks you “should” have said. You start to think how you had the last dig BUT you never resolved the issue in the first place. You then begin to wonder, “How did I get here?”

Do you feel you are always arguing? Are you getting frustrated because you feel they do not understand your frustration? I promise you are not alone.

 Here are a few tips to help you stop arguing.

 1. When you are feeling the tension / stress, pause and take a few breaths. These do not need to be huge, pronounced breaths. Just enough for you to regroup. You can even look into belly breathing

2. When we take a few breaths, focus on the specific reason you are feeling frustrated. I know we can sometimes come up with a list, but focus on ONE specific reason. 

3. When you communicate that one specific reason, use I statements “ I feel _____ when _____ because ______” These few steps will help bring your defense down. 

When your defense is down it will help them bring their defense down as well. Please remember this takes time and patience.