The Power of Our Thoughts: Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk
The Power of Our Thoughts: Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk
Have you ever stopped to consider just how many thoughts you have in a day? Research tells us that on average, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. Of those thoughts, around 80% are negative. That means nearly 48,000 times each day, we’re beating ourselves up, doubting our worth, and fueling feelings of inadequacy. It’s no wonder we feel exhausted and drained!
I was reminded of just how powerful our thoughts can be while revisiting The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Many years ago, I led a workshop centered around these agreements, and one of the exercises stuck with me ever since—especially the third agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions.
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
In my workshop, I asked the participants to reflect on negative thoughts they’d had, either about themselves or about someone else. I had them write down a thought that they believed to be true. What came up often was self-critical thinking—things like, “I’m not enough,” or “I’m too lazy.” It was eye-opening because, in most cases, these were thoughts that came from within.
By the end of the exercise, attendees began to realize that the most harmful, most negative things they were saying came from their own minds. This is what led me to a powerful realization: We are often our own harshest critics.
The Story of My Client: A Wake-Up Call
Just this past weekend, I was working with a client who shared something with me that instantly resonated. She said, “If I were as lazy as I am in my head, I would not be where I am today.”
I paused for a moment because, wow, was she spot on. Her inner critic—her self-doubt—was holding her back more than any external obstacle ever could. She had already achieved great things, but that voice in her head was telling her she wasn’t doing enough, that she wasn’t enough. And I’m willing to bet that’s a story many of us know all too well.
The Truth About Negative Thoughts
As mentioned earlier, the majority of the thoughts we have each day are negative. Think about that for a second—48,000 moments of negativity. That’s a lot of mental energy spent on undermining ourselves. These negative thoughts don’t just drain us—they also prevent us from reaching our potential. Instead of focusing on action and results, we’re stuck in a loop of self-criticism.
And it’s not just exhausting—it’s limiting. Every time you tell yourself something negative, you’re reinforcing the idea that you can’t, that you’re not good enough, or that you’re undeserving of success. That kind of thinking can seriously hold us back from doing what we are truly capable of.
Results of Negative Thinking
The consequences of thinking this way are serious. We end up feeling tired, less confident, and overwhelmed. We're stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage that drains both our energy and our motivation. Think about all the things you could accomplish if you weren’t weighed down by those 48,000 negative thoughts each day.
This kind of thinking is not just unhelpful—it’s wasteful. We’ve all got long to-do lists, dreams to chase, and work to do. But if we spend the day consumed with negative thoughts, we’re wasting precious time and energy that could be better spent taking action.
Today’s Challenge: Question Your Thoughts
Now that we’ve unpacked the issue, here’s today’s challenge: Identify one negative thought you tell yourself regularly. It could be something like:
I am not enough.
I’m too lazy to accomplish anything.
I’ll never be successful.
I am worthless.
Take a moment to really think about this thought. Write it down. Now, here’s the powerful part: For every negative thought, come up with four reasons why that thought is wrong.
For example, if your thought is “I’m not enough,” your counter-reasons could look like this:
I’ve accomplished X, Y, and Z in my life.
I have a support system of friends and family who believe in me.
I’ve overcome difficult challenges before, so I know I’m capable.
I am constantly learning, growing, and evolving.
By actively challenging our negative thoughts, we can begin to rewire our brains and break free from the cycle of self-criticism.
